Sunday, March 20, 2011
this is only you, yourself, the only creature on living earth that has right to determine your happiness standard. it's not about what people say whether you make friends with the nerds, or the posh. It's not about the invisible voices around that controlling you. When you care too much to people's reaction towards your decision / choice, it makes you become not honest. It destroys you. Once you follow the trends, and kick away your heart's advices, that's the way you throw a part of yourself. I was once like that. Mind people's words that much and being such a jerk, a looser, whatever, but from the day i knew i hurt those i love, i stopped and quit, so from now on, i'm feeling to change, become the honest one of my own feeling. because i know i'm a hypocrite, the master of it. By being like that, i couldn't get what i really want, whom i want to be with. I act cruel to those i love, just to cover it, to let none know about. I say i hate when i love. I say i dislike when i like. i say i don't wnat when i want. i say no when it is yes. i'm truly hypocrite. but i want out from this game i made. to be honest i've been playing this role for long time, till i have no idea how to over it, i forgot the way out of the thing i made my self trapped in. yes, i'm such a fool.