i am at the point where i don't know who i really am. i don't know what my intention. all i know is i keep hurting people i love . it's hard to stop all those actions. it's so addictive, don't you know? i feel like i'm turning into a really mean bitch because i'm getting so driven to get whatever i want. maybe i'm bored being left behind and simply tired of always giving up. and all those reasons / experiences i had back then, those things really push me far.