Tuesday, July 5, 2016

songbird

Over a quick brunch I seldom have with her, my mom told me once that there are things we could not force to happen or not to happen. There are things beyond our ability that we have no control of. There are things that we cannot work it out.  Well for example, you cannot be a part of the Windsor clan no matter how hard you try. The chance is zero point zero point something so close to zero.

My mom is the most realistic person in my entire life. When I was a kid I kinda dislike that trait of her since she used to tell me the truth - whether I could have something or not, whether I could achieve something or not - that sometimes hurt to be accepted by a child. Now that I've grown up, I start to be thankful for that kind of characteristic that somehow is passed to me. The trait that keeps me stay and safe, the trait that saves me for many times. 

These days I could admit that there are things that no matter how hard we try, we just cannot get it the way we want it to be. Had my mom did not tell me this principle, I might find my self laying on the ground draining all my energy. Now that I am fully aware and understand her statement, I could find my self sitting in this favorite place of mine, typing some words to release my distraught brain. I could think clearer and look at the bright side of everything that is happening to me right now. I can see the pattern, this evil cycle that has been haunting me. I have quitted but lately I've been watching my self fighting again.

The question is, should I believe in her and stop everything I am doing now, or should I chase what I might want to achieve?

I guess, quitting is healing - sometimes.

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